Hikikomori - Do You Even Have To Leave The House?

Whenever you feel alone in your solitude remember there are 1,5 million people in Japan who never leave the house. ‍

Hikikimori is a cultural phenomena which started in 1990 in Japan but has now spread globally.

To accompany your reading experience I recommend you to play this weird western inspired album.

The album title and names of the songs fit perfectly with our theme, including tracks like Solitario, Lonely Night, and Daydream.

Or something calmer like this

Under this one there is a comment by someone:

Which is something I would like to hear a hikikomori say. 

Castaway On The Moon

The other day my friend mentioned hikikomori when we were in 🌑midnight. office. Immediately I knew it was the perfect topic for midnight.blog.
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The first time I heard about hikikomori was from a friend many years ago. We watched around 2000 movies in 4 years, most of which were far east films. So it is safe to say I  didn’t only learn what it is, we lived it. 

Almost every day we would watch around 2-5 movies, alone or together, and that was all. I didn’t leave the house much except for going to the woods.

Then one day I stumbled upon what will become one of my favorite movies ever.  It is called Castaway On The Moon. 
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(If any movie embodies 🌑midnight. perfectly, it is this one. )

Although hikikomori is originally a Japanese concept, it soon spread to South Korea as well, which is where this movie was made.‍

The movie merged two types of solitude into one - having a hikikomori screen dweller girl as one of the protagonists, and a man lost on a deserted island as the second one.

It depicts these two parallel storylines, which slowly merge into one.

I cannot offer a better synopsis than this guy from IMDB so let’s shout him out:

“After failing to kill himself by jumping off a bridge, the man is washed up on a deserted island in the middle of the river, but within view of the city's high-rises. He attempts to escape, but soon accepts his fate and the challenges in living on the island. A reclusive young woman, who takes close-up shots of the moon and has not left her apartment in years, spies him on the island and comes to think of him as her own alien.”
—Will Gilbert

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I think this movie is perfect to watch if you are a loner as well, and I think it will be relatable.

It beautifully depicts the freedom a man obsessed with work feels when being trapped in wilderness, and the bravery that enters hikikomori girl when she sees someone just as weird as her. 

Ok.

Now that I have used my chance to share my precious, I will talk a bit more about hikikomori culture. 

Hikikomori Explained

Hikikomori is literally translated to pulling inward or being confined. So it is not a surprise some have referred to it as  “voluntary solitary confinement”.

Psychologists define hikikomori as severe social withdrawal, and it is an accurate definition. 
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Hikikomoris don’t just go into solo mode for a couple of days. They isolate for months, years or a lifetime. 

The phenomena began in Japan in the 1990s, soon spread into South Korea, and now it is a global thing. Both due to western fanaticism with far east culture, and the oh, so nice, life behind the screen. 

But the first cause of hikikomori in Japan wasn’t the internet craze. It was the economic “ice age” period in the 90’s.

This period prevented many young people from achieving their career goals, which, as you probably know, is a huge problem in Japanese culture. 

They felt so much shame as a result, that they completely hid away in their houses and flats. Many never came out. 

They were named hikikomoris by a Japanese psychiatrist Tamaki Saito, who used the term because he could not diagnose the culture with any known mental health condition, but still wanted to name it. 

Even today, hikikomori is not recognized as a mental illness.

Although many find it distressing, it is defined as a “culture-bound syndrome”. 

In the past, this culture was tied to Japanese economic issues, but now it is a screen thing.

Although nothing is wrong with solitude, the truth is,  most hikikomori cases are caused by event triggers, dysfunctional families, trauma or mental illness.

Researchers M. Suwa and K. Suzuki have suggested most of hikikomoris manifest the mindset of 

“defeat without a struggle, an ideal image that originates from the desires of others rather than oneself, preserving an ideal image of the “expected” self, parental investment in a child’s ideal self, and avoidant behaviour to maintain the positive opinion of others.”

The most severe cases of hikikomori don’t ever leave the house for at least six months, and milder cases go outside a couple of times per week for nonsocial reasons such as grocery shopping. 

The average time one spends living this life is one to 4 years.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Sides of Hikikomori Life

Good - Ability to be Alone

Many of us have gone through an era when we wanted to hide away from the outside world. 

A hikikomori period can be good to explore our identity, goals or ideas. 

Many people are afraid of being alone. This can have a negative impact on our confidence, self-image and most of all, relationships. 

It leads to a fear of oneself. If we are constantly with others, do our daily routines and work, we never have to encounter our fearsome thoughts and emotions. 

“One man runs to his neighbor because he is looking for himself, and another because he wants to lose himself. Your bad love of yourselves makes solitude a prison to you.”
(Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra)

I have always admired extroverts, however, I believe solitude is essential for being ok with yourself. 

We all have social needs, but aloneness can help us understand we can fulfil many of our highest needs such as the ones for purpose, truth, goodness and beauty ourselves. 

“It is impossible to get blood from a stone, to get spirituality from a physical being.”
(Ernest Becker, Denial of Death) 

Trying to fulfil these needs entirely through relationships leads to idealization of the partner or friend, and dependency on others for our identity, emotional well being and self worth. 

So, there’s nothing wrong with the choice of solitude.

Nevertheless, due to its extreme nature, hikikomori might have pushed this too far. So we also have to talk about the bad and ugly sides of it. 

Bad - The Cause 

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I have mentioned some of the good aspects of choosing solitude which I believe are known to you. 

However, when we look at hikikomoris, we must remember most of the time, the cause of it is not to develop one's self or to explore ideas.

The cause is usually fear, trauma, lack of trust, and the thought of not being worthy to society as we cannot be the “ideal” it pushed onto us.
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Hikikomoris tend to feel shame and fear in social interactions, they don’t feel they are up to standard.

I relate to this deeply, and having experienced both types of solitude, there is a marked distinction between the two.
Again, this type of solitude is ok, periods of depression are normal.

However, at one point, we want to try and combat these fears and shame, and one of the best ways to do it, I have found, is to slowly exit our confined space and look for people who make us feel safe and accept us as we are. 

The Ugly - Consequences 

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In the “bad” section, I did a small call-to-action at the end, because not attempting to exit the hikikomori life can have grave consequences. 

If a human doesn’t have social interactions, and unless he is one of the rare chosen sages like Ben-Kenobi and Tom Bombadil, he will sooner or later deal with mental health issues like anxiety disorders, social phobia, and depression. 

This can all have a determining impact on one’s life.

It may lead to financial hardship, inability to form any intimate relationship, instigate violent behavior, suicidal thoughts, and addictions.

At some point, solitude becomes too heavy of a weight to bear. 

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There is no need to become a massive extrovert, ever, but having some social interactions on a regular basis is essential to live a happy, fulfilled life.

It can be a difficult change to make, it takes time, but it is definitely possible to rebuild your self-esteem, identity and social circle. 

Wrapping Up 

This article is the first one in our series about solitude. 

Solitude is one of the primary aspects of screen dweller life, the main theme of our publication. None have gone so far with it in the modern era as hikikomoris.

Since hikikomoris are called the “modern hermits”, I think we will talk about hermeticism and hermits next. Sign up to our newsletter to be the first one to find out when it comes out.
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Community Prompt: Your Thoughts On Solitude and Loneliness

Throughout this journey we will have community prompts, where everyone can join in and comment.

Then, we will create a collaborative post with thoughts from everyone.

The way to be a part of the prompts is in the Community channel of our 🌑Discord group, or through the Twitter thread on this account (active community prompts will be pinned)

Thank you! 

Have a nice midnight. 

Your's truly,

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Archibald

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