Here is a link for the song if you would like to hear it:
https://www.sound.xyz/ngjansen/hello-im-here?referral_source=linkThe song begins like this:
So many times lost in the flow
So many people who we don’t know
Too many words and not enough right
Too many unnoticed – forgotten, alright…
And truly, it is easy to feel forgotten and unnoticed. It seems there are so many people there, but no one who we know, no one to whom we truly matter.
I know for me, just a short message or a comment from someone close, can change the whole course of my day.
And often, all other problems in our lives stem from this basic human need for companionship and friendship not being met.
A Yearning for Recognition and Reassurance
We all yearn for recognition and reassurance, we all want to know we are loved, recognized, seen and not alone.
We often do a lot, push so hard, invest so much effort in work, relationships and simply being here. We help so many people in silence, give out so much, stay silent when we’re hurt, taking those blows.
We maybe feel left out, compare our lives with others, look at their happy pics, and wonder when someone will notice us, truly appreciate us, not out of sentiment, but from the heart.
The verse of the song gives us that reassurance:
You’re not lost in this, you’re not gone from us
We’re here to make you see, you belong with us
Hello, I’m here – and so are you
Come close and hear – it’s really true
Someone is listening, someone is around
Lost in the moment, but you will be forever found
Fam, you’re my friend and that will never ever end
You are the greatest, don’t fall to break and bend
There is this corner of internet space, a corner we are also trying to build with the Midnight Apes art project. In this corner, people understand and validate this yearning, saying:
“We’re here to make you see, you belong with us”
Truth is, even if we have close people, they maybe can’t always give us this reassurance. Not because they’re bad, but often, because they are dealing with their own stuff.
Or we don’t have that. Many of us are living alone, which is a really difficult way to live.
Or maybe you do live with someone, but they don’t see you, don’t understand you, don’t have the capacity to make you feel sure you are recognized, and cherished as you are.
For this, these corners of the internet can help. When there is no one here for you, you can find someone there.
Hello, are you here?
Recently I talked with a friend about how easy it is to forget there is a real human behind a username. Ok, some are bots, but even when we know we are talking to a person, it often feels like we are talking to an avatar, not a real human.
And when we realize that the people we follow are humans, just like us, it is easier to connect, to find those with whom we resonate.
The lyrics of my friend’s song continue like this:
Hello are you here?
I wanna pull you near
So you know that you matter
Not a whisper in the clatter
Your voice is profound and your beauty is perfectly sound
Your work is amazing and this is what I’ve found…
You are the one and only you that you can be
Set your heart ablaze, and may these words set you free
Hello, I’m here! Come and share this with us all
Hello, I’m here! Come and know life not a fall
Away from who you truly are – who you’ll come to be
Together we are strong in voice, let us always with it see…
In these lyrics, we hear the reassurance, the statement that you are not alone and are seen which is true. Just sometimes, you need to search for it, ask for what is it that you need.
This can be difficult sometimes, because of our past negative experiences which happened when we asked for what we need.
But although we should not negate our past, we also shouldn’t allow past to ruin our current experience of life. The longing for being recognized is normal, it is not only normal, it is the most primal human need.
Recently I heard this quote from a spiritual teacher:
“Those who have only these three basic needs: food, shelter and companionship, are easy to be served, and thread lightly through this world.”
So even from this deeper, spiritual aspect, the need for companionship is seen as a basic need. We all heard stories where someone completely changes when they enter a healthy relationship.
For example, I have a close friend, who got of drugs after 15 years, stopped partying, smoking, drinking, started eating healthy, doing creative work, reading, let go of bad company, and completely changed the way he communicated, all after this basic need has been met for him.
Together we are strong
But OK, maybe you don’t have that in life right now, there are still many ways to be seen, to feel close. We can find that in real life and online.
Even if we have a family, spouse and close friends this can help. It works for everyone, because almost no one receives as much recognition as they need.
It is good to have this wider network of people, because we don’t put all the weight of fulfilling all our needs on only one person. Having a network makes it possible to receive from someone who currently has the capacity to give, and then to give it back to someone who might feel down.
Again, this is natural, primal, just as when we were living in tribes, which is the absolutely most natural way to live for human beings and would solve 90% of mental health issues of the modern world in my opinion.
The next verse in the song goes like this:
Together we are strong in voice, let us always with it see…
Yes you are far away, and yes we may never meet
But don’t let that circumstance, drive you to defeat
What we see and think and live is what really truly counts
Appreciate you for you, as I have never had any kind of doubt
This bars are a few and far between, meant to help you on
Hello, I’m here! Shout it out loud, whole you drift back into life, from anon
So although we are distant, we can still feel like we are a part of a tribe.
For us here, this tribe is Midnight Apes, for someone it is something else, but there is a spot for everyone on the net with a group of people they can connect to.
Hello, I’m here!
The song continues like this:
Hello, I’m here! Know that we are too
Hello, I’m here! Know it to be true
Our life is best lived in art – a wonder that is real
Our love is best shown in works – that we can touch and feel
It shows that it all starts from a single person, a single interaction. And how we often can give others a feeling of connection through art and creation.
For me, I can do it through these articles and videos I make for Midnight Apes, for you it is something else. But we can create this circle, which attracts just the right people for each one of us at any given moment.
So, although I don’t know you and can’t really see you and recognize you, the truth I can say you is that it is OK to seek for validation, recognition, and reassurance. It does not make you needy or weak, in fact it is brave to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
How to do it? Online, it is best to find a community where you feel good, and just contact some of the people there. Let them know, how you feel, tell them you’re lonely or don’t feel seen, and I bet you will find a friend, and more than one.
Then, you might want to seek out communities offline as well. It is difficult to find those "rare gems" of friends, but the effort is worth it. Also, maybe there is someone already in your life who could help you and would provide reassurance if you ask for it.
Those momentary wanting days, are sure to bring an end
This powerful statement is also the part of the song, and we all need this reminder sometimes.
On some days we might feel extra alone, and really, no one gives us the recognition we need. No one seems to be here.
But we don’t have to despair. Sun is always hiding behind the clouds, there is a rainbow after rain. The only thing we need to do is take action, do an effort to connect, share how we truly feel and the results will come soon.
We’ll finish with the final words from my friends song:
Never knowing, never seeing, never showing fear
Behind this dark façade, too many fallen tears
Hang on tight and grip that grasp, for we are with you then
Those momentary wanting days, are sure to bring an end
Here, I’m here! Hello to you my friend
Hello, I’m here! Let’s start over here again…
Sixteen bars are never quite enough
But here these words of hope and love
We can together bring our best to be
We can together: here, I’m here – together you and me!
Made in collaboration with Nicholas Jansen, again here is a link for his song https://www.sound.xyz/ngjansen/hello-im-here?referral_source=link
as a part of Midnight Apes project.
Have a good day,
Archibald.
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